It's life Jim, but...

Last week, I had an epiphany; a realisation so profound, that I must do something about it immediately....

...that's as soon as I can be bothered to do something about my procrastination.

Bizarrely, my epiphanies always seem to strike at Christmas time. I remember the one I had on Boxing Day 1994. I remember telling my then girlfriend, whose reply baffles me even now: "Why did you get one of those?" she asked. "Where are you going to keep it?"

Needless to say that relationship didn't last very long.

But last week's ground shaker was a little more alarming when I realised that, because of my frantic work schedule over the last year, my social life was now hanging by a thread. In fact, it now lies in ICU, hooked up to a life-support machine like an extra from Holby.

So where did my social life go?

...and why isn't there another word for 'thesaurus'?

I know I really should get out more. I mean, when the highlight of your week is wheeling the dustbin out to the pavement, it's time to worry. But I don't think it's an entirely hopeless case. I've made a concerted effort over the last few days to breathe life into what little social life I have left, and the plan appears to be working. And what better time than when the whole country appears to be winding down for three weeks?

I guess it's the price you pay for spending the day doing something you love. Who was the guy who said that if you found a job you loved, you wouldn't work another day in your life? Elmer Fudd? Dangermouse? I don't remember, but what does matter is that he (whoever it was) was right.

So how am I going to spend the holiday? I haven't yet decided.

Hang on, that's given me an idea for a show...