Lousy timing...

Once upon a time, a little boy called Paul had an idea for a show. "What a smashing idea!" he said, as he tucked into his morning bowl of porridge. Excited, he ran up to his office and began work immediately. There he stayed for many weeks, until finally, the project was ready. "Hurrah!" he said and celebrated by tucking into a bowl of porridge.

He telephoned his friends at the television networks. "Hello, it's Paul," he said. "I have a splendid idea. Can I show it to you please?" All his friends at the networks said yes. He celebrated by tucking into another bowl of porridge.

Excited, he placed the pitch carefully under his arm and hopped and skipped to the networks. When he got there, the network looked at his pitch, but they looked very serious. "I'm afraid it's not what we're looking for," they said. Paul was sad. He cheered himself up by tucking into a bowl of porridge.

When he'd finished, he hopped and skipped to another network. But they also looked very serious and they shook their heads. All that hard work was for nothing. Poor Paul was so sad, he didn't even want any porridge.

When he got home, he put the pitch in his desk drawer. A year and a half went by and Paul forgot all about his smashing idea. And then one day, while eating a bowl of porridge, he stumbled across a television programme called Being Erica. "Well bless my soul," he said, chuckling heartily. "This show and mine are almost identical!" There was a loud whooshing sound as the porridge flew across the room at the television screen. Paul started shouting rude, naughty words at the top of his voice and breaking things, as he realised he'd have to throw away his idea and start all over again.

When he'd finished, he curled up into a ball in the middle of the room, clutched his knees and began whimpering and rocking uncontrollably. After five hours, he suddenly perked up. "I know what would cheer me up," he said. He skipped into his kitchen and reached for the box of porridge oats. He moved the box out of the way to reveal a bottle of red wine and poured himself a large glass.

The following morning, a lot of people wearing big heavy boots were moving furniture around in Paul's head. He suddenly had an idea. "What a smashing idea!" he said, excitedly. He decided he'd start work that very morning. But first, a bowl of porridge...